Dear
Mistress Scarlet...
Mistress Scarlet De Medici answers your questions
about bdsm concerns,
based on her almost 20 years of practical experience in the psychology
and practice of safe, consensual, and transformative bondage & discipline
and
dominance & submission.
If you would like Mistress Scarlet to consider your question,
please feel free to write. Unfortunately,
because of the volume of mail that the Mistress receives, we cannot guarantee
that your letter will
be featured. If you would prefer to correspond privately with Mistress
Scarlet, this option is available
as a variant of Postal
Training.
Hello
Mistress,
I have a question that been really bothering me, so much so that
I don't like to
think about it particularly. I can't really talk to anybody about this,
because I'm
pretty sure that they would misunderstand me, or that I wouldn't be able
to say
it right. So, here goes:
I'm a heterosexual male, and I've never felt the slightest desire to experiment
with
bi-sexuality or homosexuality. I've never had a homosexual experience. Yet,
last
week in a session at my Mistress' home, she put a big dildo in a leather
harness,
strapped it on good and tight, and, after making me adjust the buckles,
ordered me
to "suck it off" - and here's the part that's bothering me -
it got me very, very excited.
Does this mean that I'm 'really' a homosexual? I know that a dildo
strapped onto
a beautiful dominant woman is different from a penis attached to a man;
but still,
sucking a dick is sucking a dick, and I'm worried about the implications.
What do you think?
signed,
Heterosexual
and nervous
Dear
Heterosexual,
Thank you for writing. Believe it or not, this question comes up
relatively often, although
it's not always about sucking a dick (rubber or real). Within the
context of a D&S or B&D
session, things often occur that would probably not be acceptable to the
participants in a
different situation. It's a matter of contextualization.
As a submissive (or as someone playing the submissive role), one
of the things you may
be asked to do is to demonstrate your willingness to submit, to temporarily
subsume your
will into the will of the dominant. One of the ways that this most commonly
occurs is through
your willingness to extend yourself by reaching beyond your usual limits.
This includes, but
is no means limited to, testing one's tolerance for pain and punishment.
Another means to
demonstrate submission is by breaking/testing previously existing taboos. This
is where acts
such as dick sucking, boot licking, public exposure, etc. come in handy.
As a dominant, I can assure you that I have no interest in violating a
submissive's trust by
coercing them into acts that are not healthy, or are outside of limits
that have been determined
and discussed previous to the session. On the other hand, I am vitally
interested in finding the
edges of a submissive's level of comfort, then providing the means for
them to explore that
edge.
So, if I were sessioning you, I would find the strap-on a very useful
tool. We've already
determined that bi-sexuality, real or implied, is outside your range of
usual sexual behavior.
By sucking my strap-on, you would be demonstrating a willingness to do
what you were
told to do because I told you to do it. The fact that it is something
you would not usually
do makes it more exciting for me, because it demonstrates a high level
of submission on
your part, and control on mine. In other words, it's not the act itself
that is important. It's
all about what it means to the participant.
If you loved to suck dick, and craved the strap-on more than anything,
then I'd have to save
it as a reward.....which brings up some other interesting questions.....
leather love,
Mistress Scarlet De Medici
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